Gallup Christmas

WARNING!! THIS POST IS LONG AND HAS TONS OF PICTURES!!!

Today, we had our Gallup Christmas party. We got together for lunch at my parents. We ate lunch and then got to the presents! Charlie was the only grandkid at this one, so he was spoiled rotten! He got so many presents! We opened all our presents, and then Charlie went down for a nap. We played LCR, a dice game for those who don't know. Then my mom pulled out 3 gingerbread house kits. Each couple got to put together their own house, which was really fun! Steve and I put ours together and then we tried to get a good picture, but people kept making me laugh and Steve was making faces....you will see the progression....

After the houses, we watched UP, a DVD that I got for a gift. After Charlie woke up, we went to the Stob's house for dinner and games. It's something we like to do each Christmas when all the Stob kids are back in Michigan.

All in all, it was a great day! Thanks again everyone for all the great gifts!!

And Now, the Gingerbread Saga:

We tried to get a cute picture of us and our house after we were done with it. Jonathan took the first one, I started laughing cause of Steve's face he made, and then it just kept deteriorating.....

Through the whole thing, Steve is making me laugh and he manages to keep a good smile on each time the picture is taken! We did end up getting an ok one....

VandenBerg Christmas

This year, we didn't have a super busy Christmas. Don't get me wrong, ,we had a busy few days, but all in all it wasn't bad. We had nothing on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day! The day after, we had Christmas at Steve's family's house. We had a big morning brunch party. There are so many little kids that need naps and to be in bed on time, that we decided to do it in the morning. We started out the morning with breakfast and then headed to the presents! The kids went crazy! 6 kids under 6 is a very busy time! I welcomed nap time for Charlie, that is for sure! We hung out there the rest of the day and headed home later that night. It was a good time!

All the grandkids

Charlie and all his paper

Grandma helping Charlie open his firetruck

Surgery

I'm feeling ok, just so you all know.

Yesterday, I had a procedure to clean out everything that was "left over" from the miscarriage. We had a big fiasco trying to schedule it, and get everything figured out, but after that was straightened out we were set to go. We went into the hospital at 12:45 for a 2:15 procedure time. After we got there and got registered, Steve was hungry (and how he dared tell that to the girl who had nothing to eat or drink since midnight monday I don't know!) so we went to the coffee bar so he could get something to drink till I went in. We got in pretty much right away, and taken back to a bay to get ready. I had all my vitals taken and made sure I was healthy enough to have surgery. I was....Yippee! Then the nurse came in to start my IV. OK, I hate needles! I know I work with them, but I hate being poked by them. So where does she try to start my IV? My HAND! Ouwie!! My veins are notorious for rolling and there was no difference yesterday either. She was digging in there and I was trying not to scream! Finally she stopped, and got another nurse, who specializes in IV's to come start mine. She got in right away, which I was very thankful for. After that, my OB came in to talk to me about my procedure and settle any nerves that I was feeling. She also warned us that they were about 30 minutes behind. A little bit later, the Anesthesiologist came in to talk to me about sedating me. I told him that I did not want a tube down my throat, and he said he wouldn't do that. The procedure itself only takes 10-15 minutes, so he said he would breath for me for that amount of time. He asked why and I said I had to sing on Christmas and didn't want a sore throat! I know, it's selfish, but hey, I'm the patient!! About 2:45 they came back to get me, and take me away. Right before I left, Steve asked me if I wanted to tell him the password to the online banking.

(I have always said if I die, he wouldn't know what to do, cause he doesn't even know the password to our online banking and bill pay!)

That made me feel great! Seriously, I'm not going to die! I got wheeled away and into the OR room. I don't remember much about that. I remember moving to the bed and seeing my doctor in there, and she came over and held my hand. The anesthesiologist gave my an oxygen mask and my arm started to BURN! It was the white stuff! (the stuff Michael Jackson died from!) I can't spell it, but it is good stuff. The next thing I knew, I was in the recovery room. It was a nice nap. I stayed there till about 4, then I got moved to the post surgery room and they got me something to eat and drink. They helped me get up and change so that I could go home. All in all, I was pretty happy about how it all turned out.

My doctor told me that we would have to wait probably 3-4 months before we try again, so it'll be a while till there is any sort of announcement.....

The post I don't want to make.

Well, I see I haven't posted in a while. And I'm really not looking forward to this post, but it has to be done.

For the past few weeks, I have not felt "pregnant". You know, the typical tired all the time, kinda gross feeling in the morning, pants getting tighter.... I just thought that maybe this time, it was different. They always say each pregnancy is different, so I just thought this one was. I even emailed my OB to ask her about it. (That's what happens when you are friends with your patients on facebook :-) She told me it can be normal to not feel sick and not show yet, even on my second pregnancy. Then on sunday, I was singing in praise team at church and another expecting mom came up front to light an advent candle and she is majorly showing!! Plus she is due after I was. Well, then I got nervous. I knew I had an appointment on the 22nd, so I would have to wait and see. Monday morning rolled around and I went to work. At about 3:30, I went to the bathroom and saw that I was spotting a little bit. Then I knew. Something is not right here. I called my OB's office and I was scheduled for an ultrasound originally for Thursday, but I got in Tuesday due to a cancellation.

All day Tuesday, I was preparing myself that it was not good. I was trying to steel myself against heartbreaking news that I did NOT want to hear. So when 1:45 rolled around, I just told my coworkers I'd be back in a bit, I was going to get and ultrasound. I was nervous sitting there waiting, and then Joy called my name to come in. Joy is an old coworker of mine who moved from the ultrasound dept at Metro to my OB's office. She asked me a bit about what was going on, and I told her. She said it doesn't mean that it is bad that I'm spotting, apparently when the baby implants, you can spot. So I thought, "ok, maybe that's what's happening". Well, as soon as she started scanning, I didn't want to look at the screen. I did for a second, but I didn't see anything moving, no heart beat. I looked away, and she said, "I'm sorry, but it looks like the baby stopped progressing around 9 or 10 weeks."

I lost it.

If you think that you can prepare yourself for something like that, you can't. Even though I had pretty much told myself already that I had miscarried, I was not prepared to know that I was right. Even though I hadn't ever felt the baby move or heard a heart beat, I still had plans and dreams for that baby. People say, "you can have another one". I know I can, but I really wanted that one!

I don't understand the plans that God has for us, but I know he has something better planned for us. He obviously needed this child with him more than we needed him/her. We have the hope of knowing that we will meet this baby someday. It gives me something more to look forward to, knowing that when I die, I will finally be able to meet our child.

Thank you all for your prayers. It means a lot to us to have such great friends and family that we can lean on in times like this. Hopefully, I'll be posting soon about another brother or sister for Charlie.....